


It's About What's Under the Kilt

by Emejig16



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, M/M, Smut, handjobs, scottish things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:04:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12079797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emejig16/pseuds/Emejig16
Summary: Handjobs and Scottish things.





	It's About What's Under the Kilt

**Author's Note:**

> New A/N: This fic was written in March of 2014 immediately after Dan and Phil's radio show in Scotland. I was inspired by Phil's turns and flashing of the audience and immediately whipped up this...thing. 
> 
> This fic also won best crackfic of 2014 for the Phanfic awards so woot woot. 
> 
> Original A/N: DID SOMEONE SAY KILT SMUT!??!?!

It was definitely the best decision for Dan and Phil to wear kilts for their radio show in Glasgow. 

At first the thought of essentially wearing a kilt with no pants underneath in front of an audience was off putting to both of them but once they’d seen each other in the kilt they weren’t even thinking about the radio show anymore.

This was most relevant for Phil.

He was in love with the kilt, not because it was an exciting new thing but mostly because he knew how good he looked in it and how he could use it to his advantage against Dan. All of the spins, hip wiggles and “accidental flashes” were all for Dan.

_He just loved to tease._

Phil knew that all Dan was thinking about was his cock just hanging loose and flopping around under his kilt. He could see it in the slight fluster on his cheeks and the slight eye wander down. It was so tangible and easily accessible, yet he couldn’t do a single thing about it.

Dan wanted nothing more than to rip Phil’s kilt off and marvel at the beauty of his cock. He’d already groped him slightly when he’d pulled him off to the side, but he needed more.

By the time they’d finished the show, Dan could barely contain it. He was so indescribably aroused; He needed Phil _now._ As soon as the show was over, Dan dragged Phil into the nearest bathroom he could find.

“I hate you.” Dan muttered as he locked the door. He pushed Phil up against it.

“What can I say? I just really like the kilt.” Phil said, with a cheeky suggestive smirk.

Dan tried to protest, but just kissed him hungrily instead. His thoughts were  clouded with lust and he didn’t even care to make a retort. There was only one thing on his mind.

Phil placed his hands and Dan’s hips, as let his lips ghost over Dan’s, gently running his tongue over both lips, before lightly pressing his against them. He then pressed a little harder, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

Dan rolled his hips into Phil’s, causing Phil to moan slightly. He parted his lips slightly, as his hands struggled to find their way under Phil’s kilt.

Phil pulled away from Dan, and reattached his lips to Dan’s neck, kissing and sucking it. His hands slowly found their way to his bum, cupping it softly as he ground his hips into Dan’s. He let his teeth graze the area before, leaving little bites.

“Phil…” Dan gasped.

Dan finally found Phil’s cock, and grabbed it as if it was a prize. He started to stroke it languidly.

Phil moaned softly pulled away.  

“I want you to whisper Scottish things in my ear as you touch me.” Phil breathed.

Dan smirked as he stoked Phil slowly.  _“Haggis.”_ Dan moaned into Phil’s ear.

“Fuck.” Phil spat out as he rolled into Dan’s hand. 

Dan grinned, as he rubbed his thumb over Phil’s slit, causing Phil to gasp sharply.

_“Bagpipes_.” Dan purred, as he massaged Phil’s balls, feeling Phil jerk again. _God was this hot._

“ _Fuck,_ don’t stop.” Phil moaned as he tipped his head back against the door.

Dan began slowly moving his hand again, pumping languidly and teasing a bit. His lips wandered to Phil’s ear, kissing and sucking gently at the lobe.

“ _Mary, Queen of Scots_ ” Dan hissed. He pulled on Phil’s ear, biting gently as he sucked, feeling Phil shudder against him.

_“Jesus Christ_ ” Phil groaned. 

Dan sped up his movements, properly jerking Phil’s cock, rolling his wrist up and down. _He’d been wanting to do this all night._  

“ _The loch ness monster_ _…_ ” Dan moaned, as he flicked his wrist a couple of times, feeling Phil shiver once again. 

“Yes, yes.” Phil panted.

Dan increased his pumping as he swiped his thumb over Phil’s slit, feeling his precum wet the pad of his finger. His hand tightened around the Phil’s shaft, as he jerked him hard and fast.

“ _Poet Robert Burns_.” Dan added. Dan let out a gasp of his own, as Phil thrusted his hips in time with Dan’s hand, forcing into it each time halfway, and trying to just create more pleasure.

“ _Edinbraugh Castle…_ ” Dan said, moving his hand as fast as he could.  

“Dan, I- I’m about to-“ Phil warned in between heavy breaths.

” _David Tennant_ ” Dan said softly, his hand still pumping a fast as it would go. Dan felt Phil shudder beneath him, whispering his name into his neck. The boy rocked into his hand as he came, breathing hard against Dan’s skin and letting out low breathy moans. He didn’t even care if anyone who happened to be outside of the restroom heard, because fuck that was hot.

“Fuck, I love you.” Phil hissed, he came down from his high. 

Dan wiped his cum covered hand on the underside of Phil’s kilt before he slipped his hand out from under it. 

 “Kilt’s are definitely a yes…” Dan muttered, turning to let his lips rest on Dan’s cheekbone, brushing against it as he spoke. 

Phil laughed softly, breathlessly. “Most definitely.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Also I know that they had pants on but like for the crack fic sake! FOR THE FIC!


End file.
